Anti-Family Policies promoted by the United Nations.
Lecture at the Serendib Institute of Research and Development
Marriage and Family in the Islamic Perspective 2nd October 2004.
Sri Lanka Institute of International Relations, 24, Horton Place, Colombo 7.
بسم الله الرّحمن الرّحيم
ربّ اشرحلي صدري ويسّرلي أمري واحلل عُقدة مّن لُّلساني يفقهو قولي
الحمد لله ربّ العالَمين والعاقبة اللمتّقين والصّلوةُ والسّلام على رسولك سيّدنا محمّد
وأاله وأصحابه وأهل بيته وأهل طاعتك أجمعين - أمّا بعد
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرّجيم
بسم الله الرّحمن الرّحيم
فَوَرَبِّ السَّمَاءِ وَالأرْضِ إِنَّهُ لَحَقٌّ مِثْلَ مَا أَنَّكُمْ تَنْطِقُونَ
Athi garu, Maha Sangarathna Athi poojya, Na Himi Vahansay gen Avasarai.
Most respected Reverend Sirs of All faiths -
Mr. M. Asim Alavi Director - Projects, MOST DISTINGUISHED INVITEES, the board of directors, the office bearers and the Council of the Serendib Institute of Research and Development, Ladies and Gentlemen please permit me to address all of you, without exception, as my dearest brothers, my dearest sisters and my dearest children, I greet you all with the Islamic Greetings of Peace and Blessings
ASSALAAMU ALAIKUM WA RAHMATHULLAAHI WA BARAKAATHUHU.
I take this opportunity to thank the Serendib Institute of Research and Development for giving me the opportunity to address such an august assembly An assembly, for enjoining and encouraging, the importance of family life, the very foundation of a humane society which will bring about peace, justice, tolerance and affection among all religions and all people irrespective of caste, creed, religion or any other man-made considerations.
Before I proceed with my subject, I would like to refer to the Quranic Verse I read out to you at the beginning:
فَوَرَبِّ السَّمَاءِ وَالأرْضِ إِنَّهُ لَحَقٌّ مِثْلَ مَا أَنَّكُمْ تَنْطِقُونَ
051.023 Then, by the Lord of heaven and earth, this is the very Truth, as much as the fact that ye can speak intelligently to each other.
The Holy Quran says - Use maxims. adages, comparabilities, exemplifications - quote unprecedented novel examples. And present your speech intelligently. The more the intelligence in your speech, the more the truth will be made manifest.
And we also have a warning issued by our Holy Prophet (S): he said:
ءا فة ُ العلم النِّسيان و إضاعَته أن تحدّ ث به غير أهله
The Calamity of learning the calamity of knowledge is forgetfulness
The destruction of knowledge, the ruination of knowledge and the waste of knowledge is your talk therewith with those not deserving of it.
Please keep this in mind.
For Muslims, the institution of marriage based - on mutuality of natural interest and cordiality between spouses represents a sublime manifestation of the Divine Will and Purpose. This is discernible in the Quranic verse:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُمْ مَوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لآيَاتٍ لِقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
And one of His signs is that He created for you mates from among you, that you may find rest in them, that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put between you love and compassion between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.. (Quran, 30:21)
According to Islamic tradition which we call sunnah, marriage has been deemed to be an essential requirement.
The human society is comprised of families. Islam attaches great importance to the happiness and prosperity of human beings through Islamically balanced, highly ethical, well-educated and well-behaved families and happy homes. Like in all the fields of human activity, Islam has laid down clearly and in detail the rights and duties of men and women, husbands and wives and also parents and children.
The happy homes having pleasant environment, in which husband, wife, children and other relatives live together merrily with good mutual understanding, tolerance and respect as well as fulfilling their respective duties towards each other, is indeed an index of the highest status the Almighty Allah has blessed, among the creatures, to all human beings.
Man and woman have been created for each other. They are attracted to each other like magnets. Marriage and establishing a joint life is a natural desire of human beings responding to their instincts.
It is indeed one of the greatest Divine blessings. In fact, where else could one find a better shelter for the youth than a sincere family unit ?
It is the desire of raising a
family which preserves the youth from pursuing irrational dreams and internal
anxieties. The marital union enables them to find a kind and faithful partner
who could share the hard and difficult times. The sacred marital covenant is a
Divine rope which links the hearts, calms them when they become unsettled, and
focuses irrational dreams on one ideal goal. The home is the centre of love,
kindness, and friendship, whereby it is the best place to relax and live
comfortably.
"The Prophet (SA) of Islam
stated: 'A man who is not married, even though he may be wealthy is surely poor
and needy: and the same is true for a woman."
"The Holy Prophet (SA) stated: 'There has not been created any institution in
Islam which is more favoured and dearer to Allah than marriage'.
These prove without any doubt the sacredness of the institution of marriage in Islam Islam says:
Expertise, readiness, and knowledge are also needed in marriage.
A young man must possess enough
information about his wife's principles, her values and internal desires. He
must also be aware of marital problems and ways of solving them. He should not
regard marriage as merely buying goods, or hiring a maid, but to acknowledge it
as a life-time treaty of friendship, honesty, kindness, partnership, and
cooperation in a joint family life.
A young woman should also be aware of her husband's philosophy of life and his
wishes. She should not consider that marriage is like engaging a servant for
fulfilling needs without any terms and conditions; but as a pledge for
partnership of a life-time and cooperation in making efforts for conducting the
life. In order to obtain a successful partnership, there is a need for
understanding, cooperation, and devotion.
This is the worldly and animalistic side of marriage which the animals also
share: the Benefits of companionship and reproduction.
Islam says the true purpose of marriage for the human race is of a different kind. Mans entry into this world is not just to eat, drink, sleep, seek pleasure or act lustfully, and then to die and be destroyed.
Animals too have the same attitude - But the status of man is higher than such primitive needs and deeds.
Human beings are meant to train themselves and their souls by gaining knowledge, engage in good deeds, and behaving in the best and excellence of manners.
Our Holy Prophet Muhummed (S) said:
القرءانُ مأدبة الله فتعلموا مأدبته ماستطعتم:
THE QURAN IS ALLAH'S UNIVERSITY: SO LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN IN THIS UNIVERSITY. (Bihar-ul-Anwaar (Oceans of Light): vol.92. page.19)
MUADHDHAB MEANS: EDUCATOR, TEACHER, TUTOR, and DISCIPLINER.
So the translation of University is very apt - because Quran is the Educator, Teacher, a Tutor and one that Disciplines
MUADHDHAB ALSO MEANS: أدب - POLITE, WELL MANNERED, CIVIL, COURTEOUS, URBANE, WELL BRED, REFINED, POLISHED, CULTURED.
So the Holy Quran Educates you, teaches you, tutors you and Disciplines you - Educates you to be POLITE and WELL MANNERED, teaches you to be CIVIL and COURTEOUS, tutors you to be URBANE and WELL BRED, and disciplines you to be REFINED, POLISHED and CULTURED - spiritually, materially, physically, mentally, and aesthetically.
Mankind is a creation that is able to cleanse his soul. By avoiding evil deeds and exercising good behaviour he can reach a level of such high status that even the angels are not able to attain.
He has come to this world so that by the guidance of the prophets and the implementation of the programs set by the religion, to secure his happiness in this world and eternal tranquility in the
Hereafter.
Therefore, the purpose of marriage should be searched for in this spiritual context. The aim of marriage for a religious person should be a means of avoiding evil deeds and purging one's soul of sins.
It should be a means of acquiring nearness to Almighty Allah. It is in this context that a suitable and good partner assumes an important role.
When two believers, through marriage, form a family, their sexual relationship would benefit them in strengthening their mutual love and kindness - For such a couple, there would not exist any dangerous threats of sexual perversion, dangerous addictions or unlawful deeds. The Prophet (SA) of Islam has laid great emphasis on the institution of marriage.
He stated that : 'Whoever gets married, has safeguarded half of his religion'.
Again he said : 'Two Rak'ats (units) of a married person's Salat (prayer) are better than seventy Rak'ats offered by a bachelor'.
Thus emphasizing the great importance of such a sacred union in the Institution of Marriage.
A faithful, pious, and harmonious partner plays a crucial role in having a respectable and honest life. Indeed having such a partner is an important factor when wanting to avoid evil deeds and enables the commitment of oneself in performing the obligatory acts of worship.
A pious couple, not only would not meet with any obstacle in achieving religious goals, but would be a source of encouragement to each other.
A pious person would always invite his partner to goodness, And a corrupt person would tempt his partner towards corruption.
It is therefore, imperative that in Islam men and women, who want to get married, are advised to regard piety, morality, excellent conduct, sublime character and good manners of their future partners, as essential conditions.
"The Prophet (SA) stated: 'If I were to bestow all the good of both worlds upon a person, I would endow him with a humble heart, a tongue which continuously utters His praises, a body patient enough to withstand all calamities; and I would give him a pious spouse who, when he or she sees him or her, becomes happy and protects mutually each others property and each others honour in their absence'."
So we now know that "religion" in Islamic definition is "a complete system of life" which covers all aspects of human life from the day a person is conceived up to the day he or she is laid in the grave.
Islam is not only concerned with the spiritual upliftment of human beings, it is equally concerned about their material and physical well-being as well.
Islam guides its followers in financial and economic matters, in social and political affairs, and also in moral and personal spheres of human life.
In moral and personal matters, Islam has specific dietary guide-lines, hygienic rules, dress codes, and also rules about marriage, divorce and inheritance.
The Islamic laws of marriage do not stop at how to marry and whom to marry; it also deals with the sexual morality of human beings.
It also deals with the extended family unit. The in-laws The parents and grand-parents and it speaks about the one who is the best to his family. Our Holy Prophet said:
خيرُ كم خير كُم لأهله
The best among you is the one who is best to his family.
As such, it is not encouraged to have institutions like Homes for the Aged or Orphanages . It is the duty of each family to take care of their kith and kin, especially the parents and the grand-parent. This is a very strong injunction in the Holy Quran. (17:23,24)
وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلا تَعْبُدُوا إِلا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلاهُمَا فَلا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلا كَرِيمًا
17.23 Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour.
وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
17.24 And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: "My Lord! bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood."
And Our Holy Prophet (S) said:
رضى الله ِ في رضى الوالدين ِ وسخطهُ في سخطهما
The Pleasure of Allah lies in the Pleasure of ones parents and His wrath lies in their wrath.
You may ask as why is the family so important to muslims?
From what we already stated you would have known that the family is the foundation of Islamic society. The peace and security offered by a stable family unit is greatly valued, and seen as essential for the spiritual growth of its members.
A harmonious social order is created by the existence of extended families; children are treasured, and rarely leave home until the time they marry. Islam's family system brings the rights of the husband, wife, children, and relatives into a fine equilibrium. It nourishes human unselfishness, generosity, and love in
the framework of a well-organized family system. Thus making the family the basic unit of civilization.
Let me just
give you some inkling of what is happening in the world - plots to destroy this
institutions of family and marriage - Let us look at the forces, that are trying
their utmost to destroy this most sacred family unit and doing everything
possible to tear this fabric of harmony in family-life, to shreds.
What you see happening now is the disintegration of this basic unit of
civilization The family unit.
We have coined a word and called it the permissive society What does it mean ?
It means that the time the children reach adolescence the time when they need more protection from outside evil influences the time when family unity and family integration should take precedence over all other considerations When it is time to ingrain in them what is chastity, morality and decency - these children are let loose out into the streets like animals, without any protection whatsoever - to be at the mercy of all evil repulsive, disgusting and sordid influences that has pervaded the modern society. This is what is called the permissive society.
Go ahead you want to indulge in sex ? you are free to do so the only thing is see that you use a condom or other preventive contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases. Instead of condemning such filth they say use a condom.
The father goes with any woman of his choice and comes home showing concern about his family.
The mother too goes out with any man of her choice and comes home saying my husband, my children and my family. This is a hypocritical set-up which the modernists call the family unit.
The results of which are very clearly seen The family breaks-up in no time because suddenly the father thinks that he has found a woman who is more exhilarating to him than his lawful wife and the wife thinks that she has found a man more exciting to her than her lawful husband To hell with the children to hell with what may happen to their psyche, to hell with the family. So long as I can satisfy my selfish desires whether it be sex or money, wealth or material things, not forgetting to mention name, fame, power and position who cares about the family. The permissive society.
The children who are seriously affected by this set up end up psychologically and mentally disturbed.
The adolescent children too begin to imitate their parents they too go out with whomever they like because the parents allow them to The parents, the friends the modern society tells them Come on what is this dont you have a boy friend dont you have a girl friend get out of the house stay overnight, go on picnics sleep with whomever you want We will get you a separate apartment so that you can indulge in any vice that you may deem fit in the privacy of your own apartment with whoever you want - drugs, sex, armed robbery, gambling? Go ahead - You are free to do anything in this Permissive Society.
This very same people who encourage such evil, filthy, nauseating, disgusting and revolting habits are the very same people who pass laws to combat drugs, prostitution, armed robberies and what ever.
Tell me - Who is fooling whom ?
This is the Liberal western society We who are ready to condemn the West, are we ready to keep our families and our children free from evil, sickening and repulsive habits ? you are going to get a surprise when you take a glimpse at the local scene.
It is a know fact that we Asians are suffering from a slavish mentality. We like to imitate or mimic what others do. This is the root of all the troubles and constraints facing the Orient.
We intentionally or unintentionally, start imitating the mannerisms of someone else. We who exhibit this weakness forget our own background, national character and culture.
The wretched and pitiable state that we are in is that if and when we remember them at all, we recall our own background - our own beautiful national character and culture with contempt. We hope to transform our identity dreaming to attain the distinctions, and the grandeur, which we see in another.
We are the assimilators. We attempt to rid ourselves of associating with our original society and culture Because our slavish mentality says it is shameful.
No wonder we tend to forget our real, independent identity I think, we have already forgotten our independent identity.
Look at this ignominy that we have put ourselves into. If we have a foot pain we put it down to nerves! Why? Because we associate with people who we think are more intelligent, polished, respectable and wealthy than us, and they have "nervous disorders." Rather than admitting that my foot aches, and I have to seek medication from a physician - I seek a psychiatrist for the "nervous disorder" to which I attribute my pain to. This is what has happened to our society. You cannot deny this.
What we have now today is a society with so much starvation and general feelings, desires and behaviour aping those of present day Americans, English or French?
We had our own unique tastes and buildings. We composed our own unique poetry, pertinent to our culture, and relevant to our lives. We had our own unique social manner. We had our own unique colors, maladies, desires and religions. But whatever we had was our own. In spite of the fact that we were far below the level of present day civilization and material enjoyment, still, what we had, however trifling, was our own. We were not sick, we were poor, but poverty is something different from sickness. Today we are sick.
We had no demand here for the products of factories which make machines, or "high fashion" clothes, or the "modern" fabrics of Europe. Our desires, interests and joys were plain and simple. In our style of life our production and consumption, were consistent with our traditions, tastes and necessities.
As a result of our attitude, the capitalist's merchandise remained unsold. What is the next step then?
The next step is to make people in Asia and Africa - consumers of European and western products.
The next step is to structure their societies so that they would buy European products.
That meant changing a nation literally.
Which means - they had to transform a man in order to change his clothing, his consumption pattern, his adornment, his abode and his city. The question arises What part of him have to change first?
Yes, you first change His morale and his thinking.
Morale and thinking could not be changed by an European capitalist, engineer or producer. So the enlightened European intellectuals specially the intellectuals in business had to plan a special method of perverting the mind, the taste and lifestyle of the non-European.
The non-European is not given any choice in this regard- since the change he desires might not necessitate the consumption of Western products So it becomes essential that his desires, his choices, his suffering, his sorrow, his tastes, his ideals, his sense of beauty, his tradition, his social relations, his amusements - all must be changed so that he is coerced into becoming a consumer of Western industrial products.
So the big producers and big European-Western capitalists of the 20th and 21st centuries let these intellectuals handle this project.
What is this so called project? All the people of the world must become uniform. They must live alike. They must think alike. Practically, it is impossible for all the nations to think in the same way. Because the structural elements that go into the personality and spirit of a man and nation is their Religion, history, culture, past civilization, education and tradition.
These elements differ from one society to another. The differences in thinking and spirits of the nations of the world must be destroyed in order for men to become uniform.
They must conform, wherever they are, to a single pattern. - What is this pattern?
The pattern is provided by the West: it shows all Easterners, Asians, Africans, how to think, how to dress, how to desire, how to make love, how to grieve, how to build their houses, how to establish their social relations, how to consume, how to express their view, and finally how to like and what to like. Soon it is realized that a new culture called "modernization" was presented to the whole world. A consumer oriented economy using every available media, electronic media, the print media, Cinema and the internet.
A society at the mercy of a consumer
oriented economy where the emphasis on sex education for example, is more on
preventing unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. If this is sex
education, then the students learn nothing but the importance of using pills,
condoms and other contraceptive devices. In other words, such sex education is
nothing but a promotional program for the manufacturers of contraceptive aids !
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You need not go far look at the idiot box the Television culture that has
invaded our homes. You cannot even control it If you think that you would
watch only family movies that will suit our culture only you are in for a
shock a half-hour teledrama has only about 12 minutes of drama and the balance
18 minutes is bombarded with advertisements If you look at them it is the same
as watching a blue film or anything that is prohibited by our religions and
culture.
You can see a youngster a school boy running to buy condoms. At the sametime you can see how a daughter deceives her parents who think that she is going for a cookery class. She spends the whole day with her boyfriend and she comes home with a packet of instant noodles with the instant recipe. When the ignorant mother asks tell us what you learnt in class today. The girl replies Just wait and see and she prepares the instant noodles with the instant recipe The parents are overjoyed that their daughter has attended a wonderful cookery class who had taught her a wonderful way to cook. The TV addicts with their children seem to enjoy them Children just absorb such filth of indecency, immorality, deception, lies and hypocrisy and think that this is the norm.
Can you sit and watch a decent song now? The Graphics and the visuals that accompany the song are nothing but utter filth and you can see the parents sit with their children and without feeling any sense of embarrassment enjoy such disgraceful entertainment - And then comes the encouragement, you can enjoy this at your leisure, purchase a VCD or DVD.
Advertising food is just advertising gluttony you can see from the grand son to the great-grandfather behaving in the most despicable manner human decency and our cultural heritage totally destroyed Every grandfather and grandson wants to imitate such contemptible and loathsome behaviour.
Certain local producers too have their share. They make our little children and teenagers participate in their TV Programmes and you can see them seductively shaking and twisting and rolling with body hugging clothes, which depict every curve like they are naked and you can see the parents the audience enjoying the curvatures and lewd movements of their children.
The Lottery ads a real misguidance and designed to destroy little children If children buy lottery tickets what will they do with small winnings ? (Big winnings are advertised) will they tell their parents or will they use it themselves in unwanted things and get used to evil habits. ?
The Print Media with its magazines and tabloids cannot sell its newspaper or magazine, if it does not print a naked or near naked picture of a woman This is the other growing menace.
Look at our schools For 364 days, decency, morality and character building is preached on the 365th day they have a disastrous Western style celebration dances, women and intoxicants flow freely parents and young children, boys and girls participate in them - in total disregard to religion, culture and decency - destroying everything the character, the morality and decency.
So even school programmes, which once was deemed to be a source of intellectual guidance is now sunk in filth.
You can see how consumerisms have invaded every nook and corner what an invasion?
The West has convinced our people to lay aside our orthodoxy, discard our religion, get rid of native culture, saying that these had kept them behind the modern European societies So we the underdogs become westernized from the tip of the toe to the top of the head!
In short what we have today is guided missiles and a misguided people.
You are all intelligent people, I need not touch on each and every evil that has permeated our society every immorality, malevolence and wickedness that has infused into our culture.
I am really glad that like-minded people have been brought together in this forum this is also in accordance with the Quranic laws which asks us to get together so that we can destroy and eliminate this evil that has come to destroy our society The Holy Quran says:
قُلْ يَا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ تَعَالَوْا إِلَى كَلِمَةٍ سَوَاءٍ بَيْنَنَا وَبَيْنَكُمْ
3:64 O People of the book, people who have religions - people who have scriptures - come - let us talk on things that we agree in common things that can be of use to society - useful to mankind at large - not that which we dispute not that which we do not concur but things we agree in common. irrespective of religion, race, caste or creed.
Every family- they have their differences fathers do not always agree with mothers, parents do not agree with children and vice versa. brothers and sisters do not agree with one another .
But there is some cohesive force which binds families together it is their harmony on things which they agree in common.
If families cannot agree and come to terms with how can communities with diverse religious practices, diverse ritualistic practices, can come together the only way is that there are always situations, words, attitudes and characters and morality which we do agree in common
We do not all think alike, and we do not have identical interpretations. However, in the light of agreements and numerous common elements, we can minimize differences and render them a means to perfection and progress A progress that will benefit our communities, societies and the whole country.
Let us not be like NATO some say, it means No action, Talk only. Let us not be impotent like the UN, who too Pass resolutions and are totally helpless in implementing them Blatant Violations of UN Resolutions by US and Israel are legendary. Let us all get together all religious leaders and let us do something to get rid of this cancer in the local scene first, before it spreads and destroys all what we stand for our religions, our history, our culture and our heritage.
Let us all protest against immoral films, indecent advertisements and everything that is disgusting in both the electronic and print media which is eroding our culture, our decency and our character Let us stop schools from sinking to below mud level.
Let us join hands and vow to eradicate this growing menace - before our children and grand-children fall prey to such machinations of evil.
May Allah in His Mercy Guide us all along the right path Aameen
وآخِرُ دَعْوَانَا اَن ِالْحَمْدُ لِلهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِيْن
السّلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته